I would like to think that the Troll calendar matches up with our own. If you assume a “bilunar perigee” is a day and a “season” is a month we have a base to work from. Assuming the “6th Dark Season” is the last Dark Season before the Light Seasons start and is also their version of April we have twelve (Seasons/Months) and can then define a ‘Light’ or ‘Dark’ season.
With April being the last Dark season our list of Dark seasons looks like this:
Dark 1 - November
Dark 2 - December
Dark 3 - January
Dark 4 - February
Dark 5 - March
Dark 6 - April
The Light seasons would be:
Light 1 - May
Light 2 - June
Light 3 - July
Light 4 - August
Light 5 - September
Light 6 - October
Each of these months would consist of the same number of days we know them to have, but the middle of each season would be referred to as the equinox of the season.
This method of thinking relies on their plant taking 2x as long to travel around their sun. Making the days of each season have 48 hours instead of 24. This accounts for the intensity of the Alternian sun making days uncomfortable/unbearable for many trolls.
If we assume that the new year for them starts on the first bilunar perigee of the first dark season then Karkat would have been born on 6/12. Which is also the arc number for the trolls session (also, funnily enough, making his birthday line up with the 12th of April. One day before John’s).
As well all know, Homestuck starts on the 13th of April, 2009 and it just so happens to be John’s birthday. This gives us a good starting point.
The kids’ session lasted only a single day so at 12am on the 14th of April, 2009 Rose and Dave ascended and Jade and John departed through the 4th wall. Both pairs of players taking three years to travel to the Alpha session.
This puts the Beta kids’ ages at 16 for their meeting with the Alpha kids.
Oddly enough this puts the date that they enter the Alpha session at April 13th, 2012. The exact month and day they started their own session, but three years later.
The Alpha kids, however, started their game on the 11th of November, 2011. Five months and two days before Jane turned 16. With all of the Alpha kids sharing birthdays with their Beta counterpart Roxy, Dirk, and Jake would have turned 16 in their session as well.
This lines all the Kids up to be the same age as their counterpart, most likely to the second if Paradox Space has a senses of humor/irony.
The Trolls? Well… No one has any idea how their calendar works so I couldn’t say exactly what the dates mean for them. They started at ~6 sweeps (13 human years) and are now ~7.4 sweeps (16 human years).
but what’s really scary about the homestuck fandom is
the gigapause could end at any moment
you’ll be just scrolling one day and BAM
you can’t prepare for it, you can’t stop it
it’s just lurking in the shadows
we’re basically your period
unexpected and theres a fuckton of blood
Prospit Dreamers make their beds.
Derse Dreamers don’t.